Time Out for Humor

A recent e-mail chain letter about the supposed year of Feng Shui inspired the following parody.


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I love these warning messages --


CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This e-mail message, including any attachments, is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information or otherwise [be] protected by law. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply e-mail and destroy all copies of the original message.



The Year of the Bat

Did you know that this year, 2011, is the Year of the Bat in the Garuda religion of Southeast Asia? This little-known religion has been growing exponentially in recent years from mountain to plain, ocean to sea, and hamlet to metropolis. Since January 1, 2011, the number of adherents has mushroomed as this is a year of good luck occurring only once every 1,011 years. Thus, the last Year of the Bat was in A.D. 1000, a year in which the Apocalypse did not occur, but a huge explosion in the population of the Southeast Asian migratory auburn bat did occur. The Southeast Asians honored the bat by giving said bat its own year, even though the non-migratory blonde bat already had its own year and complained vociferously. The dispute was eventually worked out at the Council of Phnom Penh in A.D. 1016 and ratified at the Council of Trent many centuries later.

Anyway, you are in luck as you have been fortunate to have received this e-mail from a friend. Your friend has esteemed you with this honor because he (she?) feels lucky to have you, and knows your spouse would never refer to you as "You Old Bat." Indeed, if you forward this message on to eleven (11) other friends who are not Old Bats (or Old Biddies), you are sure to receive mucho dinero in the next five days. Of course, the money will be in pesos, so don't get your hopes up.

In the meantime, why not frequent your near-by Thai restaurant and check out the cute place mat and confirm that this is indeed the year of the Bat in Southeast Asia? If you don't believe me, just check out the Wikipedia article here:
< http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southeast_Asia#Religions >.

And by the way, did you know that if you take the last two digits of the year of your birth plus the age you will have or have this year, and add them, the sum for everyone is 111?! Ex: 63 + 48 = 111 What a co-inky-dink!

Blessings upon you and your mother, and father, first cousins, great aunt, and long-deceased great-great grand-pappy. May they all enjoy excellent Southeast Asian food forever -- but not roast bat.


Your friend,

Norm da Plume


(c) 2011 The Musical Patriot
All rights reserved.

Apologies to Garuda, Southeast Asia, Mexico, Spanish-speakers, and the peso!